How do you feel when anger is expressed? Like a child inside, empowered, fearful or something else?
What are your expectations of the situation and where do they come from?
Anger never comes out of a vacuum. There is always a reason.
Anger is amoral. It is neither right nor wrong. The emotion of anger is not the problem, but how we mishandle it is. Anger is an emotional reaction to certain kinds of stress-producing situations and is always a secondary emotion. More basic emotions underlie it. Basic emotion examples are: hurt, resentment, disappointment, frustration, helplessness, anxiety, fear, etc.
Sometimes anger is expressed outwardly and with inappropriate behavior like yelling, hitting people and things or a variety of other abusive ways. See below in the kinds of abuse paragraph.
Sometimes it is held in and then our body tells us that we are angry. These symptoms can include ulcers, headaches, skin rashes or even depression. We simply are not aware of how angry we are because we have been taught that anger is not OK. Anger is a healthy emotion providing we express it appropriately by talking it out with a trusted friend, exercising vigorously or in other proper ways.
We can learn how to identify our “triggers” so we can defuse the anger before it escalates too far.
Abuse touches all walks of life. It is truly an equal opportunity that crosses all socio-economic, ethnic, racial, educational, age and religious lines.
Physical Abuse: Any touch not given in love, respect and dignity.
Emotional Abuse: Any communication, admonition, reprimand, or reproof that does not uplift, edify, or bring conflict resolution.
Abuse is about power and control. If we were traumatized or abused as a child, we felt powerless about our situation. Now we want to maintain power and control at any cost. There are four areas of trauma and abuse that affect us most. These may have come in subtle or overt forms, but the child interprets the situation as really unsafe and traumatic. They are:
•Rejection •Physical Abuse •Emotional Abuse •Sexual Abuse (both incest and molestation)
Domestic Abuse can range from a look to a gunshot.
Some kinds of abuse include:
•Physical Abuse •Emotional Abuse •Sexual Abuse •Power Abuse •Verbal Abuse •Knowledge Abuse •Stalking •Threats •Intimidation •Silence •Humiliation •Religious Abuse
IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO YOU ARE, ABUSE IS NEVER OK!